Julie’s News from Maryland

We had our “orienation to chapel” today that included lots of things like: how to navigate the 9 books (prayer book, psalter, hymnals, etc.), how to read the boards so you know which book and what page, how to sing the chants (with some practice), etc.  Prayer services here are very routine - pretty much always the same so that everyone can follow along easily once they get the hang of the system.

The liturgics professor explained today that The Daily Offices (morning and evening prayer) and the Eucharist Services are done the same way all the time for a reason.  They are done very closely, if not exactly, like the Prayer Book specifies that they be done.  The rational is that if we are familiar with the basic, contemplative, and traditional way that this stuff is done, then we will know this well.  By knowing this well, we should be able to adapt to the various ways that parishes do this, since (theoretically) all Episcopal worship is based on and around the way the Prayer Book lays it out.

As soon as he finished talking about it I just started to cry.  (For those of you that know me well I should clarify that it was not a sobbing cry.  It was just a very quiet, tears streaming down my face sort of cry.)

As I sat there, I just felt like we were putting our hands around the neck of the Episcopal Church and strangling the life out of her.

Having grown up Catholic, I appreciate the ritual of liturgy - and I appreciate it in many forms.  This may suprise many of you, but I do like traditional, contemplative worship when it is done well.  It can be very moving and very spiritual.  I can find great comfort in the ritual of the tradition and find it very formative.  That’s because I grew up with it.  As a child, worship was ritualistic and liturgical.

But what about the people that didn’t grow up in a church?  What about the people that aren’t familiar with the Episcopal liturgy?  Or aren’t familiar with liturgy at all?  What about the people that don’t know how to read the boards or navigate through the 9 books?  How do we make them want to come back?  Are they really going to feel the Holy Spirit moving as they fumble around in the books and try to figure out which side of the room is supposed to be reading which verse of the Psalm?

And what about the Seminarians?  How are we supposed to learn different ways of doing liturgy if they never practice them?  How are we to learn that doing liturgy this way might not be the best way to attract the next generation of (mostly) unchurched people to the Episcopal church?

I am trying desperately to keep an open mind.  I’m working to trust that God has a reason for bringing me here.  I know that I need to be open to being formed and transformed by this experience.  But, in the meantime, I’m grieving having a groovy place to worship where I can dance and sing and rejoice.  And, the prophet in me is terrified - terrified of going against the grain, terrified of creating tension and angst, terrified of being an outcast.

“I believe, help my unbelief.” Mark 9:24

Today was the first day of “Orientation for New Students.”  The day began at 8:00am with Morning Prayer and ended at 8:30pm after a session about Emergency Preparedness.  The parts in between included: small group sharing time, a welcome from the dean and other staff members, lunch, a tour of campus, general info about living here, general info about the computing services, dinner, and an introduction to “worship” and how we do that around here.

Needless to say, it was a very long day and I’m quite tired.  It was a lot of info to receive and process in one day. 

The good news is that I met lots of great people.  It was nice to see everyone that will be around for the next few years and chat with them a bit.  I think I managed to at least introduce myself to most people, and had some opportunities during meals and breaks to talk to folks.  There is lots more getting-to-know-you stuff that will be done over time, but it felt good to have everyone be here and get this thing started.  It seems like a long time that I’ve been waiting to be here and to do this.

Tomorrow is another long day with activities scheduled from 8:00am to 7:30pm.  There are a few more breaks in the schedule for me as some activities only apply to certain groups, so that should allow for some much needed downtime.

I was telling my friends about our first church experience here at the longest worship service ever.  In the course of the conversation, I mentioned that I’d paid my tithing check to them that week, but that it had been a bit of a struggle at the time.

I had debated with myself during the service about whether or not to pay my tithing check to them.  The service was so miserable and I hated the idea of rewarding them for producing such intolerable worship.  However, for me, tithing is not about anything external.  It is a discipline that I follow that helps me to remember that I’m not in conrol.  Tithing reminds me that God has blessed us abundantly and that I need to rely on Him to continue to do that.  Otherwise, I start thinking that I’m doing a really great job of providing for me and my family all by myself and then I start thinking that I can run things and that just ends up in a mess.

During our conversation about it, we were able to equate tithing to prayer.  Prayer and meditation aren’t about changing God or changing God’s mind.  Prayer and meditation are about changing us - changing our perspective, getting our internal compass lined up with God and His will for our lives.  We talked about how, for me, tithing is very similar. Tithing is about changing my perspective about money.  Instead of believing that I am a good provider and can get all I need by myself, tithing reminds me that God provides for us and that He will continue to provide for us.

And now, for my BIG REVELATION: I realized today that if I was going to trust God to continue to bring the money in to my life, then I should probably trust Him to take care of the money on the way out of my life. 

This isn’t news to anyone but me, really.  It isn’t a new idea, it is just a new idea for me.  Up until now, I have always paid my tithe to my home parish that I love and am really pleased to be “supporting”.  But, going forward, I’ll be paying my tithing check to whatever church we’re attending, whether I want to “support” them or not.  I get to practice releasing control of the money into God’s hands to do whatever He wants with it - whether it’s what I would choose to do with it or not.  Yet another opportunity for me to learn how to give up control. Pretty cool.

Our first visitors are here!  The Kasrawis (Alane, Nawwar, Ellie (3yrs), and James (10 months) arrived on Thursday evening and are staying until Sunday morning.  We’ve had lots of fun. Friday, we made a trip to the Statue of Liberty yesterday. We couldn’t get into the statue or the museum since the tickets were sold out, but we took the ferry to Liberty Island and walked around.  It was really neat to be that close to the statue.  I’ve never seen it so close.  The kids seemed to really like it too.

Today we went to Times Square and wandered around a bit.  We went to the HUGE Toys R’ Us and Ella and Ellie rode the indoor ferris wheel with Alane and Nawwar.  Ella loved it and had so much fun. She giggled and waved and blew kisses.  It was very cute, if I do say so myself.  After that, we went to the American Museum of Natural History.  We saw the new dinosaur exhibit, which was really cool.  The kids were pretty beat after that, so they rested as we looked at some other things.

Central Park is just across the street, so we took the kids there to let them run out some energy before dinner.  It was so fun to watch the little crowd of kids grow.  At first, it was just Nicholas, Ella, and Ellie running around in this patch of grass.  Pretty soon, another couple of little girls joined in.  Soon after that, another couple of girls added themselves to the crowd.  They were running around playing freeze tag - random people were freezing and other random people were unfreezing.  They were squealing and laughing and running around.  It was very delightful to watch.  I love how kids make friends so easily.

We ended the evening with a super nice dinner at “Cowgirl” in the West Village.  The food is super yummy. Rick had chicken fried steak and I had a pulled pork sandwich.  The staff knew exactly how to deal with the kids - bringing their food first.  The hostess even wandered around with James for a while.  It was great food and a really good time.

It has been so so so nice to be with friends the last couple of days.  We’ve met a lot of nice people here, but it is so much work to get to know folks.  The conversation is pleasant but very exploratory.  With friends, the conversation is fun and interesting and easy.  It has been so refreshing for all of us.  The kids have had so much fun together!

I unpacked the last box tonight!  Hip hip hooray!

I had one final box of random stuff in the office - envelopes, CDs (both blank and with data), batteries, random office supplies, and extra computer cables.  I bought a little 4 drawer plastic cabinet at Bed Bath and Beyond today and put all that stuff in it.  The little cabinet fits nicely under my desk, so it doesn’t take up any extra room in my office.

The office is now all setup.  Well, except for a chair.  The desk I got from Ikea is extraordinarily tall, so I need to get a chair that will allow me to be really tall, so that I don’t have to type with my elbows next to my ears.  I’ll do that tomorrow.

Orientation week at seminary starts next Monday.  They have a full schedule, so I am getting prepared to be completely overwhelmed.  I’m a little overwhelmed by the thought of the whole thing: meeting tons of new people, getting tons of information about how the place works, going to meetings/events from morning until night every day.  I’ve been trying not to be anxious about it, but I must say that I can’t help worrying a little bit.

Have you ever heard of cockroach theory?  You know?  If you see one of something, that indicates that there are probably a hundred more instances of it?

Well, we saw our first New York cockroach today.  It came surrying through the living room.  I think it was at least 4 inches long.  I’ve known dogs smaller than this cockroach.  The good news is that we haven’t encountered any in the kitchen or in the cabinets.  I haven’t even heard them.  But, still, if you see one…

Rick spent about 10 minutes chasing it around the room, spraying it with various chemicals (mostly spray starch and hair spray) until it finally immobilized and he could smash it.  Yuck.

I knew that it was too ambitious to believe that maybe they didn’t exist in the building.  After all, this is New York and we share it with many small rodents and large insects.  But, I wouldn’t have minded being in denial about it more than 2 weeks. sigh.

Anyone have any great strategies for keeping them at bay?  (I won’t even pretend to believe that there might be a way to get rid of them).

Hurray! We experienced fun, lively, and spirit filled worship!  Hurray!

A few months ago, the National Church sponsored a liturgy and music conference at St. Tims.  One of the participants was from a church in Jersey City called Grace Van Vorst.  Grace Church does contemporary worship and we’ve been looking forward to attending. 

Henry was kind enough to invite us to a party at his house on Saturday, so we had an opportunity to meet several parishioners and chat with the rector.  I also met a recent graduate from General and a Roman Catholic priest that is transferring to the Episcopal church.

We made the journey to Jersey City and waiting for us at the train station was one of the parishioners that we’d met at the party.  It was so nice of him to meet us and walk us to church and made us feel so welcome.  When we arrived, the place was so familiar - projection screen on the wall, band rehearsing, and lots of people chatting and enjoying each other.

The service was very welcoming and informal, but everything was such high quality. The music was good, the words were easy to read, the congregation  was clearly a community, the kids participated in some of the service and then headed out for some time in sunday school during the readings and the sermon. 

It was so great!  I, of course, cried during the opening hymn and again several times during prayer and worship.  We really liked it and are so hoping that we’ll be able to go there regulary.

As I was getting ready to leave for work this morning, I decided to take my sunglasses with me - since the storm seems to have passed and it was bright and sunny outside.  But, when I went to retrieve them, I couldn’t find them.  I searched all over and they weren’t anywhere.  I retraced in my head where I had them last and I remember having them at the computer store that I was in when I got caught in the rain on Sunday.  I couldn’t remember having them after that.

On a long shot, I stopped by the computer store and asked at the information desk if anyone had found them.  The guy said, “Hey Mark. What’dya do with those sunglasses I gave you?”  Mark said, “Oh, they’re right here.”  He pulled them up from behind the counter and there they were. My sunglasses.  I could hardly believe it.

What a great way to start the day.

I went out this afternoon to run some errands in the neighborhood. I stopped in a computer store and looked around for a few minutes.  I walked towards the door and discovered that it was pouring rain outside.  It was perfectly fine outside when I went into the store.  Sunny. Hot. Muggy.  Typical of what the weather has been like since we got here.

Several of us congregated at the door and waited for the rain to stop.  About 1/2 hour later I finally decided to stop waiting.  I headed out into the rain and started my walk home.  Six blocks later when I arrived I was soaking wet.  It was pouring like crazy.  I think I’ve learned that I should check the weather in the morning so that I know when rain is expected.

We’re having quite a storm now.  The rain stopped for a while, but it has come back in force.  Serious thunder and lightning too.  Just a few minutes ago the I saw the lightning and heard the thunder just about right then.  It was closer than I’ve ever seen lightning. I think the building shook a little.

Believe it or not, Ikea has a free shuttle bus to take victims (I mean, uh, shoppers) from Manhattan to the Ikea in Elizabeth, NJ.  The bus leaves from Gate #5 at the Port Authority Bus Terminal on 42nd and 8th every half hour on Saturdays and Sundays from 10:30-2:30.

We walked 5 blocks to the subway, then took the subway up to Times Square.  Fortunately, we were able to walk from the Subway terminal underground directly to the Bus Terminal (about 2 blocks).  The Bus Terminal was HUGE - I think there were over 200 gates.  We made it to our gate and only had to wait a few minutes for the bus.  Then the bus drove us 30 minutes to Ikea.  Total one-way travel time: 1 hour 30 minutes.

Ikea was insane.  I’ve never seen so many people in an Ikea.  And, I’ve never seen so few staff members in an Ikea.  It was definitely different than the East Palo Alto store where someone is available to help every time you turn around.

We managed to find the things we needed on the top floor, then arrived at the restaurant.  Nicholas went to play in the kids room and Ella and I waited near the cafeteria so that she could get her face painted by the clown.  Rick stood in line for lunch.  30 minutes later, Rick had lunch for us all and went to retrieve Nicholas while Ella and I continued to wait for face painting.  Finally, she was painted (a pink and purple butterfly on her arm) so we could eat.  I have to say, I really like those meatballs!

After eating, we ventured to the bottom floor.  Still packed with people we made our way through and found the things we needed.

We managed to get most of the stuff on our list: tall skinny closet for linens to put in the hallway, cabinet to put above the toilet in the bathroom, a desk for my office, a small desk for the kids, beautiful purple sheers for the living room curtains, and a few random other little dorky things.  I’m quite pleased that we were able to get those things.

Of course, we realized after we got everything that there was no way we could get it all back on the Bus.  So, we arranged for it to be delivered - on Wednesday.  Annoyed that I have to wait that long, but grateful that we didn’t have to bring it ourselves.

We walked out, got back on the bus and returned the same way that we had come.  Total trip time: 6 hours.  I think we will have to be pretty desperate for something that only Ikea has to make that trip again. I’m glad we made it once, though, because now we have all the things we need.

Thanks again to my great friends at Sun and their generous Ikea gift card. We put it to good use yesterday.  I’ll think of y’all everytime I sit at my desk in my office.