Julie’s News from Maryland

Ash Wednesday.  A quiet day of contemplation and reflection as we begin lent.  Not in the Nelson house.  Today was the first day that all of us had off at the same time since New Years.  With Rick working on Saturday and me working on Sunday, that means that we live in a strange fragmented way now.  The kids are off school this week and I had the day off for Ash Wednesday, so we were all together.  It was so nice to all hang out.  We had a lazy morning together and then took the kids bowling.  The kids are big enough now to really be able to bowl pretty well - with the help of the bumpers, of course.  The new system and the bowling alley has the bumpers computerized so you can tell the system which bowlers need the bumpers and they’ll go up just for the kids.  It was great.  Nicholas bowled a strike and 2 spares and ended up with a score of 106.  He beat the pants off me.  Ella held her own pretty well, too.  It was very relaxing and fun for all of us.

In the afternoon, Rick went with several seminary friends to get a tattoo.  I joined them for a portion of their time so I could be there when Rick was getting his.  He updated the one he had, adding some more symbols to signify our marriage and each of our kids.  It looks pretty good.

I suppose it is an unconventional way to spend Ash Wednesday - not exaclty the self-deprecating, fasting, repentant sort of day that I was taught to think of it.  It was, however, a very healing day for our family and if lent isn’t about healing, I don’t know what else it is about.

At church today, I asked the rector what the procedure was for burning palms to make ashes for Ash Wednesday. I have learned that it is good to check on what “the tradition” of a place is before I just take initiative and make something happen. The last thing I want to do is burn ashes when Long Time Parishioner has always done it and would be offended if I did it. The rector said that she usually just does it in the kitchen at her house and told me to do it before I left.

I rumaged around in the church kitchen and found an empty metal cookie tin. It looked like a perfect place to make a little fire. At first I thought I’d do it outside, but then I got outside and remembered how cold it was (in the 20s). Brr. I went back into the church kitchen. I thought I could just light the end of the palm and burn it down, but that didn’t really work; the fire just sort of fizzled out. Then, I remembered my campfire making skills. I broke the palms in to smaller pieces and built a little teepee with them. I put a match under them and they went up in flames. It was quite a fire. It was quick, too. It only took a few seconds for both little palms to burn down to ashes. Finally all those years as a Camp Fire girl paid off!

It is sort of silly and I’m sure that all of those priests out there that have done this a million times think this is mundane, but it’s the first time I’ve done it and it was sort of fun.

The primates (bishops, not monkeys, though considering how some are behaving it is hard not to think of them as monkeys) of the Worldwide Anglican church are meeting this week. Naturally, one of the more prominent points of discussion is the increasing tension around the Episcopal Church’s decision to consecrate an openly gay bishop. I learned today that 7 of the archbishops refused to share Eucharist with Katharine Jefferts-Schori, the Presiding Bishop of the Episcopal Church in the United States. Many of the same primates refused to share in Eucharist with Bishop Frank Griswold in February of 2005. You can read that article here.

In reading the statement issued by the primates, they explain their absence by blaming the Episcopal Church for not repenting of their sins.

There are so many things wrong with this decision on so many levels that it is hard to know where to begin. First, and not to be overlooked, all of the primates agreed a few days ago not to discuss the meeting with the press until after its conclusion. Releasing this statement to the press violated the agreement that was made. Isn’t that how we got ourselves into this mess in the first place? Prior to consecrating Gene Robinson, the primates had all agreed not to take any action around the ordination of gay priest or same-sex blessings. Whether we did the right thing when we consecrated Gene Robinson, (which I happen to think we did) or not, we were in violation of the agreement we had made. These primates that have been so angry with us for breaking the agreement are now breaking one themselves.

Second, I always find it so irritating when people take scripture out of context and twist it to mean what they need it to mean to justify their own position. Do they really believe that Jesus doesn’t want us to share Eucharist when we are in disagreement with one another? Do they really believe that Jesus wants us to walk away from sharing table fellowship with those that behave in ways that we don’t believe are acceptable? Certainly that was not the example that Jesus showed us. How many people did Jesus dine with that were “sinners” - tax collectors, prostitutes, etc.? Would he have walked away? It’s hard for me to believe that he would have.

Third, to blame their actions on someone else is classic codependent behavior - the tenant of their statement seems to be “She made us do this.” Or, “If only you would do what we want you to do, then we wouldn’t have to walk out.” For Pete’s sake, take responsibility for your own actions. If you don’t like the choices that someone else has made and you don’t want to be with them, then fine; don’t be with them. But to imply that it is their fault that you have to walk away is a cop out.

I continue to pray that everyone will remember that Jesus unites us in the midst of our seemingly constant desire to find reasons to be divided. As I said in a sermon a while back, it is my prayer that someday we in the church will realize that everyone is “in”, unlike in fashion where “one day you are in, but the next day you might be out.” (Heidi Klum, Project Runway)

I got an email today - one of those forwarded stories about kindness and being a Christian. It was a cute story, sort of hokey as they all are, but at the end of the story I found this quote:

Just going to church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than standing in your garage makes you a car.

I must say, I love this quote!

I read a news article today about the female astronaut, Lisa Nowak, who was arrested yesterday. Here is how the article began:

February 07,2007 | HOUSTON — Lisa Nowak chose a juggling act of dauntingly high difficulty: to be an astronaut and a mother of three.

Are you kidding me?! I don’t think I’ve ever read an article about a man who was arrested for attempting to kidnap and murder someone that mentioned that he was under stress because he had chosen a demanding career and also had children. Stress is certainly cited as a reason when men have a mental breakdown, but never is it because they are “juggling” family and a stressful career - usually it is because work pressures are too much, or because they are in financial trouble, or because they are having an affair.

Why is it that a woman must have had a breakdown because she has children and a stressful job? Until a few weeks ago, this woman was married. She had a support system in place at home. It’s not like she was trying to be an astronaut and a single parent. Argh! Just when I think that we are getting closer to having equality, I see an article like this and I realize that this stuff just creeps out without anybody even thinking about it. I’d bet that the author of this article never stopped to think about how his or her comments contribute to the inequality between women and men. It probably was just a great opening line. But, there it is: Women can’t have stressful careers AND children because they might have a breakdown. Sigh.

This is the second week of classes and so far, so good. Here’s what I’m taking this semester:

Ethics 1
Pastoral Theology 2
Church History 3
The Gospel of Luke
Modern Readings in Anglican Theology

I’ve already written a paper for my Ethics class. I volunteered to write one of the first papers (we’ll each present a paper in our small group weekly) so that I could get it out of the way. The more I do at the beginning of the semester, the less crammed the end of the semester will be. I wrote about Tradition as a source for morality. I thought it was an ok paper and people in my class were complimentary. I felt like I learned some things too, which is even better.

I think the hardest class for me this semester with be Modern Readings in Anglican Theology. I really want to believe that I am smart enough to study Systematic Theology, but I’m just not sure that I am. In the introductory lecture our professor gave us some background information on the theologians that we would be reading this semester and I almost couldn’t follow along. Geez. For today’s class we read some sermons by Joseph Butler (sermons 1-3 and 8-12). I usually was able to grasp what he was saying until about the 3rd paragraph and then I was completely lost. Talk about run on sentences, this guy is unbelievable. Hopefully I will get some insights from our class discussion.

The good news is that I really like all of my professors and I’m very excited about the subject matter in each course - even history. I feel like everything I am studying this semester is intriguing to me and that makes it all so much more fun.

It is freezing cold here. Literally.  The puddles stayed frozen all day today.  I just saw the weather report and the daily high isn’t expected to get up to freezing (32 degrees) until next Friday.  I think they said that Monday’s high is expected to be 17.  That is seriously cold.  I suppose I can’t complain too much since we’ve had such a mild mild winter.  But, still, it is cold.  It’s not too bad if you wear all the right gear: underlayer of clothes, scarf, gloves, hat, long wool coat.  Of course, it is impossible to convince the children to wear all that stuff.  Nicholas refuses to wear a scarf or a hat and Ella continues to wears dresses.  Naturally, they whine everywhere they go because they are cold.  Ah, it’s tough to be a California kid in the northeast.