Julie’s News from Maryland

Last weekend I was invited to preach at St. Stephen’s church in Pittsfield, Massachusetts. A friend I met at a stewardship conference sung my praises to his rector and together they decided to invite me to come preach. We have never been to the Berkshires before and we found it so beautiful and a wonderful break from the city. The congregation was very warm and welcoming and we all felt very much at home very quickly.

The church has a very informal service on Saturday evening, where I preached an abbreviated version of my sermon. When I arrived on Saturday night, I saw the printed service booklet and realized that the parish was celebrating the Feast of the Ascension on Sunday, which meant that they would be using different readings than the readings I had used to prepare my sermon. I told the rector immediately and she was really wonderful and gracious. When she read the gospel, she just announced that she would be reading a different gospel than what was written in the bulletin. That worked well for the shorter version of the sermon, but the longer version of the sermon included quite a bit of text from the Acts reading that we were no longer using. I quickly had an idea for how to rework the sermon for the next morning and spent some time later in the evening doing so. As it turned out, I think the revised sermon was much better than what I had prepared and it worked beautifully.

The gospel reading for Sunday was John 17:20-26. The sermon is as follows:

Well, I don’t know about you, but I when I first read this gospel passage it made me a little dizzy. I thought, “What on earth?” It seemed to loop around itself and I wasn’t quite sure where it was going. So, I hope today that we can unpack this and see what is really here.

In this passage Jesus is praying. In the passage just before this, Jesus prays for his disciples – his companions, his friends, the people that he had meals with. But in this prayer, Jesus is praying for us. And not for the collective us, but for the individual us. Jesus prays this prayer for each and every one of us. And I think Jesus prays for 3 things in this prayer.

Let me read for you the first thing that Jesus prays in verse 21a: “As you, Father, are in me and I am in you, may they also be in us.” Jesus is asking that we – each one of us - may be one with him and the Father. Jesus prays that we will know that God loves us and that we will love God. Jesus prays that we will be in relationship with God – and not just relationship, but that we will be ONE with God. That is how close the relationship is that Jesus is asking for. So that’s #1: Jesus prays for us to be in relationship with God – to be ONE with God.

The second thing Jesus prays for in verse 22 is this: “The glory that you have given me I have given them, so that they may be one, as we are one.” Jesus prays that we will be in relationship with each other. Jesus’ prayer is that by knowing God and being in relationship with God we will have the confidence we need to take the risk to be in relationship with one another and to care for one another. Jesus prays that we will love and care for one another. So that’s #2: Jesus prays for us to be in relationship with one another – to be ONE with one another.

Ok, so here’s the third thing Jesus prays for in verse 23: “I in them and you in me, that they may become completely one, (those are the first two things - here’s the third) so that the world may know that you have sent me and have loved them even as you have loved me.” Jesus prays that others, outside of our community, will see how much we love each other and how much God loves us. Jesus prays that others will be drawn in by this love and will come to love and be loved.

So, those are the three things that Jesus prays for: that we will know ourselves as loved by God and that we will love God, that we will love and care for one another, and that others will see the love we have for one another and know themselves to be loved.

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One of the great bonuses of coming to seminary in New York from California for me is that I get to live near my younger brother. My brother and I are very close and he moved to New York just a few years before I did. Shortly after he moved to New York he met and fell in love with a wonderful man, Daniel.

Now, Daniel grew up in a Christian denomination that wasn’t very friendly towards gay people. Daniel was made to feel bad about himself for simply being who he was. In fact, Daniel recently told me that in junior high school, he used to go to bed at night and pray that he would die in his sleep.

When I moved to New York, Daniel was very curious about my faith and my ability to be ok with the whole gay thing. I became, in a way, his own personal theologian – answering questions about scripture and the church, showing him that God really loves him just as he is. Over time Daniel began to spend more time with me and my friends at seminary and was exposed to more people than just me that are ok with the whole gay thing. Just recently, he attended our school Talent Show. Yes, seminarians have talent and occasional we show off to one another. At the beginning of the show our preaching professor began the evening by leading us in prayer. The prayer she said was very nice, but I didn’t make a particular note of it. But the next day Daniel sent me an email saying that during that prayer he felt more included and loved in faith community than he ever had before.

Daniel is coming to know himself as a loved child of God. Daniel is seeing that we love each other and we love him and that God loves all of us.

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You know, Jesus could have prayed for anything for us. He could have prayed that we be good people. He could have prayed that we have a servant’s heart. He could have prayed that we be generous people. Jesus could have prayed for anything for us. But, when he prayed for us, Jesus prayed that we would be in relationship with God, in relationship with each other, and that others would see our love. Jesus’ heart’s desire for us was that we know ourselves as loved children of God, that we care for one another and love each other as loved children of God, and that others will come to know themselves as loved children of God.

A friend from seminary passed this along.  It made me laugh out loud and I just can’t help sharing it.

Well, it would seem that people in New York really will steal just about anything.  My brother works at a restaurant here in Chelsea and on the street in front of the restaurant there is a little square of dirt in which a tree grows.  The owner of the restaurant put a teeny little fence around the dirt plot and filled it with cute little spring flowers.  A couple of days later, they all  noticed that half of the plants were gone.  And, not just ripped up or knocked down or trampled.  But, actually gone.  Someone had taken the flower plants, roots and all, from half of the little plot of land.  They stole live plants that had been planted in the ground.  Honestly. Who does that?

I can’t remember how much I blogged about it, but I was sick almost the entire fall semester. Between throat infections, the flu, and a couple of random skin infections I was on antibiotics at least 4 times. I was tired and my brain was foggy and it totally sucked. So, I decided at the end of the semester that I was going to find a way to prevent that from happening again this semester. I instituted a few new house rules:

• Everybody washes their hands (with soap) everytime they come in the house
• We wiped the door knobs and the sinks with antibacterial wipes every couple of days (those things are great!)
• I was extra careful not to share utensils or drinks with the children (my own personal walking germ factories)
• Everyone takes a multi-vitamin

On top of that, at any sign that I might be sick I took several doses of Airborne. Man, that stuff worked like a charm. More than once I was certain that I was on my way to getting a cold and everytime it stopped it and the cold went away. I’d heard about it before, but never tried it because I was nursing Ella. Now that she has completely stopped nursing, I figured it was ok for me to try it.

I’m so glad that I put a little effort into being well. It certainly made this semester so much more enjoyable. I was alert and awake and able to participate in class and other things.

Today was the 185th Commencement at the seminary.  The class of 2007 looked so amazing as they processed into the chapel followed by the faculty, staff, and board of trustees - all fancied up in their academic gowns and caps.  It was a sunny, beautiful morning and the trees were dropping leaves and petals like confetti.  I was so happy as I watched each of them receive their hood and officially complete their degree.  And, I was sad that they will be leaving.  I admire and respect the people in this class and I will genuinely miss them.  I will miss their friendship and companionship, their advice, their perspective, and the general fun way they have about them.  The seminary will be a different place without them next year. 

I can hardly believe that I am 2/3 of the way through this program.  Some days it really feels like we just got here - we still sometimes feel so out of place and new to New York.  Other days we feel like we’ve been here forever - like we’re old pros at living in the snow and sleet and getting around town on the subway.  But, in any case, we only have 1 more year left.  Only 8 more classes (2 semesters) until I graduate. 

I remember watching graduation last year and thinking that I couldn’t wait to get out of this place.  I was so anxious to get on with ministry and get away from what felt so often like academic hazing.  I didn’t feel like I fit in and I felt so ostracized.  This year as I watched the graduates I realized how much I will miss this place when I leave.   This last year has been so formative for me in so many ways.  I have learned so much about myself and my classmates and have grown so much.  It certainly hasn’t been simple or easy - much of what I have learned has been hard earned, but it has been an incredible learning experience.  I will be a better person and a better priest for having been here.

This is Ella and her friends hanging out at the ice cream social today.  Cuties! 

One of my classmates and I recently had a conversation about one of the weirdnesses of being a seminarian. We were chatting about the awkward conversation that always ensues at cocktail parties and random events when we meet new people and they learn that we are in seminary. The conversation almost always goes something like this:

New Person: Oh. You’re in seminary. What does that mean?

Seminarian: Well, it means that when I’m done I’ll be ordained as a priest in the Episcopal church.

NP: Really? They let women [married people, gay people, you name the niche] do that these days?

S: Yes. Some churches still have some of those sorts of restrictions for ordination, but our church doesn’t.

NP: That’s really intersting. What made you want to do that?

S: [Here's where we give some explanation of our call or vocation that seems appropriate to the level of actual interest]

NP: And what church is it?

S: The Episcopal church.

NP: Hm. The Episcopal church. What is that?

S: It’s kind of like the Catholic church, but a little different.

NP: Oh, you guys are the ones that have all those churches that are leaving because of the gay bishop!

S: Yep, that’s us…

And, I suppose you can imagine where it goes from there. It’s almost always the same with some variations. While it is always wonderful that people are interested and want to know about it, after a while it gets sort of tiring to say the same thing to every new person you meet. It is sort of like being pregnant when everyone you meet and everyone you know wants to talk to you about being pregnant and having a baby. While it is very wonderful that people are interested, after a while you’d like people to notice that there is more to you than just that one thing.

Well, my seminary colleague told me about a new strategy for avoiding the awkward and long conversation about being a seminarian. This colleague has recently begun to tell people that he works for a “multi-national non-profit” and is currently in a “three year management training program.” When people really press him for the name he tells them it is The Domestic and Foreign Missionary Society, which is techinically, still the official corporate name of the national church organization. Apparently it works like a charm and the conversation moves on. I have yet to try it, but I might one of these days when I’m just too tired to go through the whole thing.

I found this quote in a recent diocesan email update.  It was unattributed, so I don’t know who to thank for it, but I really like it:

     Your worst days are never so bad that you are
beyond the reach of God’s grace, and

…your best days are never so good that you are
beyond the need of God’s grace.

Particularly appropriate in these last few days of exams.  I am almost finished with my work.  I have 2 in class final exams this week and 2/3 of a take home exam to complete.  Oh, yeah, and a movie to make.  My goal is to have it all finished by next Monday.  I think I am on track to do that, provided that nothing unexpected happens.

I finally finished my church history paper.  I’ve been working on it for a little longer than a week, but it seemed like forever.  It has been a while since I’ve done a research paper and I forgot how much work they are.  Lately, most of the papers that I have written have focused on one particular document or book - I summarize the author’s argument and then make some observations of my own about what the author said.  I’ve decided that I like these kinds of papers much better than the research papers.  In any case, the history paper is finished and I can move on to the next assignment.  So far I am feeling pretty good about the remaining workload:

• Systematic Theology: 12 page paper - I’m comparing the positions of two authors that discuss the free will argument for evil and suffering in the world
• Gospel of Luke: movie - I am hoping to film interviews with several people in different economic classes and somehow interweave their comments with Luke’s themes of rich and poor
• Ethics: take home final - I have to answer three questions, from a selection of questions.  The answer to each question can be up to 3 pages single-space, typed.  I was a little worried about this, but when I saw the questions I actually feel like I know something about enough of the questions that I’ll be ok.  Plus it is open book, so it is totally doable.
• Church History: in class final
• Pastoral Theology: in class final

Sometimes when I see the list I feel a bit overwhelmed, but I think I have plenty of time to do it as long as I am diligent and get it done.  And, I take comfort knowing that in less than 2 weeks it will all be over.  I think I will be sad to see this semester go.  I have really enjoyed all of my classes and all of my professors.  Some of the work has been really challenging and I haven’t always agreed with everything that everyone said, but I found it thoughtful and relevant and really really interesting.