Julie’s News from Maryland

I had a great trip to California.  I got to meet my new bishop for the first time.  She has only been with us for a couple of months and she was kind enough to meet with me for an hour the day before our Diocesan Convention.  We had a really great conversation and I am really encouraged, even hopeful, for our Diocese.  Four years ago we were a fractured, bitter, snarky, and difficult bunch.  We’ve done a lot of work in the past few years and it would seem that the time is ripe for a new leader to bring a new vision and some new life to our little patch of churches in California.  We talked about possible jobs and we are both on the same page about waiting and listening for God’s call.  I’ve given God my list of requests:  job in California, a house, enough money for us to live comfortably, a great boss, a parish full of families.  It is a dream list, I know, but you know, it never hurts to ask.  I’m confident that God will give us just what we need.  I just hate waiting for it.

I managed to get a ton of work done on the plane, as I’d hoped.  I completed my Church History exam, wrote the entire AT1 paper, and wrote most of my sermon.  I still need to add in the part about Jesus and polish it up a bit, but I got a good chunk of it written.  I also wrote another 1-page paper that is due in a few days.  It was very productive and very tiring.

As always, traveling to, from, and withing major cities comes with some sort of adventure story.  I arrived at JFK around 10:00pm and waited for my luggage.  I schlepped to the AirTrain and then to the E train.  The E train came on the wrong track, but it was going towards Manhattan, so we all shrugged and got on the train.  Two stops later they made some announcement that sounded mostly like “Muffle-muffle-muffle-everybody get off here - Muffle-muffle.”  So, I don’t know why, but they made us all get off.  After waiting for what seemed like forever, an F train arrived.  F doesn’t take me directly home, but it gets me pretty close and then I have to take another train just one stop, plus it is slower because it is a local train not an express train.  But, I figured that moving towards home was better than standing around in Queens, so I got on the train.  Quite some time later, I disembarked from the train and carried my bags down and up stairs to get to the platform where I could transfer for my last train home.  I got on the platform and it was filled with a rather creepy bunch of folks - shifty looking people that weren’t waiting for a train but just biding time on the platform.  I was a bit uncomfortable, but noticed that the people at the other end of the platform seemed a bit less scary so I dragged my suitcase down to the other end.  The bench was full of people, so I just stopped behind the bench to wait.  The two people sitting on the bench in front of me were chatting and I was just waiting.  A homeless man approached me and asked for money.  As I was politely declining to give him anything, the woman sitting in front of me began trying to hit me with her scarf.  When I inquired about why she was swiping at me she started screaching about me standing behind her and that she wanted me to move.  When I calmly told her that I’d be happy to move and all she really needed to do was ask me nicely she got up and started trying to hit me.  She was screaming and saying all sorts of crazy things.  I calmly walked a few feet away and she sat back down, still hissing and screaming.  The young man who had been chatting with her got up and walked down near me.  Apparently, he was just chatting with a friendly stranger, not realizing that she was actually crazy.  The next train came quickly and I got on it and came home.  I told the station agent about the incident and she was very responsive and was going to take care of the problem.  I was shaken but held my composure, until I got up to street level where I completely lost it.  I cried all the way home.   And then it hit me: I was really stressed out.

As I thought about it, I realized that I had been really worried about this trip to meet the bishop and attend Diocesan Convention.  I had my guard up - my shield to protect myself.  I was on my game all week, saying all the right things and spinning my life so that it would appear positive and uplifiting.  But, I think, on the inside, I was really worried.  Anything could have happened and I was more nervous about it than I even admitted to myself.  The crazy lady in the train station broke through that shield in the most authentic and real way.  She reminded me that I’m not as shielded from harm as I’d like to believe that I am.

Well, it is mid-semester and it is crunch time.  I was feeling pretty relaxed since I only have one mid-term exam, but all of a sudden I feel like I have a done of work to do.  Here’s what I need to do between now and Nov. 5 (2 weeks):

• Church History 2 Mid-term exam - This is a take home exam that is sealed in an envelope.  Upon opening, we have 2 hours to complete the exam with no notes.  It is not an open book exam.  I get this exam on Wed morning on my way out of town and it is due Monday, Nov. 29 (I return Sunday night).  Looks like I’ll be using time on the plane to complete this exam.
• Ascetical Theology 1 Mid-term paper - Lucky for me, what was supposed to be an in class mid-term exam was changed to a paper.  i just need to choose one of the books that was assigned thus far in the course and write an 8-10 page reflection paper about it.  The paper is to be focused - just one theme or topic - but it is not a research paper.  This might also be a good candidate for work on the plane.  This is due Mon., Nov. 5.
• Sermon for the Chapel - I recently got my very formal letter from the Dean (I had no idea we were invited so formally and officially) inviting me to preach in the Chapel of the Good Shepherd on Nov. 5.  This is my “senior sermon” as they call it.  Each student gets to preach once in the Chapel during their senior year and this is mine.  I have the readings and I have a couple of ideas. I’d like to get a lot of it done while I’m gone so that I only need to polish it next week.

So, three pretty major projects that need to be finished in the next 14 days.  Oh, and did I mention that I’ll be traveling for 5 of those 14 days?  I’m leaving Wednesday morning for California and I won’t be back until late Sunday night.  The good news is that I am taking direct flights from here to there and I have a seat near a power outlet, so it should be easy for me to get a fair amount of work done on the plane.  I suspect that I’ll be able to write the AT paper and complete the CH2 exam without too much trouble.  if I get at least a sketch of the sermon put together that will be extremely helpful. 

In case you think that this seems like a pretty easy workload,  I’d also like to note, that in this same time frame I also have 3 one-page papers and a 5 page section for a group project that are due.  However, I’ve already finished those projects, so I didn’t include them in the list of things that I need to do.

It is all totally do-able, just a lot to get done.

“I’ve never shared something with someone that needed it and came home with something to dust.” –Terry Parsons

Yesterday, I spent the day with Terry Parsons and a group of 15 elementary school kids. Terry and another woman did some workshops about money and giving and stewardship, then I filmed each of the kids and asked them about money and stewardship.

During one of the presentations, Terry was talking about how much fun it is to give. She said that as she gets older, it gets more fun to give things away. That’s when she said the quote above. And isn’t it so true? I mean, at this point in my life, I just don’t want any more crap in my house. My house is full. I don’t want to keep buying stuff that I have to find closet space for and that I have to clean up after.

When Rick and I were first married we lived in a teeny little apartment. The place was full, so we had a rule that if we bought something new we had to give away (or throw away if it was too used) something old. We really just didn’t have any space for extra things. I think my family is getting to that place again. The apartment is full and we need to institute the rule again - when we get something new, we need to give something away. And maybe we need to look around for stuff we should just give away anyway…too much stuff means to much clutter, both physically and spiritually, I think.

Nicholas turned 8 last weekend, but since we were away we had his party today.  Since he is all Pokemon all the time these days, the party had a Pokemon theme. We got really cute party stuff on eBay and I made a cake with Pikachu on it.  A few of his friends from school came and they had a ball.  Nicholas was really insistent that we have the party at home this year - not at a park or on the seminary campus as we have done in the past.  The boys looked through their pokemon cards and did some trading, they played pokemon video games on the Nintendo and then had a pokemon pinatata.  I think it was really fun for all of them.

I posted a new album that is listed in the column on the right - Nicholas’ 8th Bday if you want to see the pictures.

On Thursday morning, my field ed mentor called from another state to give me a task.  He had been thinking further about the day-long retreat he is leading on Saturday and had some ideas that he wanted me to implement.  He had realized that he was going to include a fair amount of quiet time during the retreat and he thought that it might be helpful to have some “Quiet Stations” in the corners of the room to help people think or meditate.  He was wondering if I could work on putting those stations together - maybe find some icons or candles or something.  He confessed that he isn’t very good at that sort of thing and was only just realizing (at the last minute) that it might be useful to have something like that.

Ok. Let’s think about this carefully, shall we.  He asked me.  ME. To put together Quiet Stations for people to meditate.  Enjoy the humor of that for a moment.

I called a few people in the church who gave me a couple of ideas and got some candles for me.  But, I was basically on my own.  Here’s what I came up with:

• Arts & Crafts - One table will have crayons, colored pencils, art paper, and clay. 
• Herbs & Sticks - This table will have fresh mint, rosemary, and a few plain sticks.
• Rocks and Shells - I have a big giant sea shell and a bunch of small sea shells.  I also have a bunch of different and interesting rocks.
• Icon of the last supper, a tall wooden cross, and some candles.

I wrote instructions for each of the tables that give people some ideas for what to do with each of the items.  For the rocks and shells I gave them meditation questions about the ocean, earth formation, God as creator, the texture and shape of the object, etc.  For the clay and the crayons I suggested that they draw an image that they had during the talks, or something that represents God for them.  For the icon I asked them to think about what was happening in the icon, which character they might be, and how the icon makes them feel.  For the herbs I suggested that they think about how the herb affects the food and how ingredients can come together to be pleasing or displeasing.   I tried to incorporate meditations about the object, God, self, and community in each of the instructions.  My real hope is that people will find their own ways to pray and meditate with the objects.

All in all I think I am happy with what I’ve put together.  Unfortunately, I won’t be able to stay for the retreat tomorrow to see how the items are used - I have to come home for Nicholas’ birthday party.  I am praying that people will find the Quiet Stations restful and contemplative.

I was sort of surprised that I was able to come up with so many ideas.  I have no idea if they are useful to the contemplative types, but they are at least something.

I had an interesting exchange today at school with a gentleman that occasionally takes classes here. He mentioned that the last class we had taken together was the Stewardship class two years ago and how disappointed he was in that class. He had hoped to get more concrete information about philanthropic fundraising, not so much other wishy-washy stuff (I can only assume he meant the stuff about Jesus). I pointed out that stewardship is not fundraising and he replied, “Well, it’s just fundraising with a little holy water sprinkled over it.” I said, “No. Stewardship is about personal transformation in the discipline of giving. Fundraising is something entirely different!” He didn’t really reply.

Stewardship is not fundraising, people. It’s just not. Fundraising is what museums and libraries and cancer societies do. They ask people to give a bit of money to help do something wonderful for the world. Won’t you provide books for the little children? Can’t you help us improve the quality of our community by bringing more artists’ works into our museum? Just a bit of your money will go to life saving research - can’t you help? Fundraising is about helping the other - giving to improve something else in the world. You might inadvertently benefit from that gift, but its primary goal is to better the world.

Stewardship is about changing you. Stewardship is about recognizing God’s abundant gifts in our lives - everything, not just some things, but everything we have is a gift from God. Stewardship is about recognizing those gifts and then nuturing a grateful heart. Stewardship is about switching our perspective - it is about getting away from our culture of scarcity (I don’t have enough so I’d better hang on to what I’ve got) and recognizing that God has given us so much and that God continues to bless us. Stewardship is the change that happens to us when we live in God’s abundance with a grateful heart rather than living in the culture’s myth of scarcity with a heart full of fear.

Fundraising is about doing good for others. Stewardship is about transforming ourselves - and in turn transforming the world.

As my good friend said to me recently, “You know a woman is really invested when she has bought the wardrobe.” Well, I’ve started buying the wardrobe. A couple of weeks ago I bought my first alb. I got really lucky and bought a beautiful, very plain alb from Wippell on SALE. It was some sort of floor model and it was half price. They are altering the collar for me because it was a bit too tight, but that was a nominal cost. It was a little strange to make such a committment to a piece of clothing that I’ll be wearing most Sundays for a really long time. But it is done and now I own one.

Today I was at Old Navy. We stopped in briefly on our walk home to check the sale rack. They had very nice fitted, long-sleeve button down shirts on sale for $20. I realized that the black one would make a very nice clergy shirt so I bought one in black and another in dark brown. I’m going to have the collars converted to clergy collars so that I’ll have a couple of clergy shirts to wear. I don’t know how often I’ll wear a collar, so I’m not ready to invest in very many of them just yet, but it seems prudent to have a couple of them handy.

It’s true. There is something more real about all of this now that I own pieces of the wardrobe.

I have a professor this semester that makes a point of insulting various constituencies of the seminary on a regular basis.  He often complains, discreetly, about the choices made by the administration of the seminary and regularly his musings find there way to insulting someone.  For example, in one class, he started to talk about the commuter students.  The seminary is making a very intentional effort to accomodate part-time and commuter students; and with good reason.  We are finally realizing that not everyone who is called to the priesthood is in a position to move away from their home and quit their job to attend seminary.  And, to its credit, the seminary is working hard to make their degree programs accessible to those that do not live here.  While discussing the issue of commuter students in class, the professor called those students “commuters” and “outsiders” interchangeably for about 5 minutes.  He called them outsiders.  There were at least 5 commuter students sitting in the classroom.

In another class, the professor was talking about changes in  the way seminaries are run and how deans are chosen.  He concluded by mentioning in a derogatory way that this was why we have children around.

This is how we form leaders for the church, guys.  This is it.  We sit in classes supposedly preparing for the GOEs and parish life while we are subjected to professors that air their personal grievances about having to put up with children and outsiders on the campus.  And do you know what the really sad thing is?  The really sad thing is that no one says anything about it.  Not one of us stands up and calls out the injustice that is happening right in our midst.  Why?  Because we know it won’t make one damn bit of difference.  This professor has been here forever and will be here forever.   We know that we only have to survive one lousy semester and then we’ll be on to the next thing and then, finally, out of here.  How sad is that?